Diary Day 4: Reflection
My body is mine. It has carried my mind and soul through the world for my entire lifetime. Consequently, I’ve had plenty of time to get to know the little intricacies and nuances of my physical being. But alas, there are days when I glance up at my reflection and don’t recognize the person in the mirror. Where did that spot come from? Has that wrinkle always been there? When did the bags under my eyes get so dark? Have I always been this pale? Why don’t these pants fit properly anymore?
Meeting my reflection in the morning has become somewhat of a ritual. We’ve become well acquainted. Dare I say, we have an intimate friendship. Greeting one another in the early lights of dawn, the expectation of what I look like matches the image in the mirror. Sometimes. Day to day, it’s difficult to detect the little changes my body goes through, souvenirs from its journey through the passage of time. But, every now and then, I walk past my reflection and do a double-take because I don’t recognize who’s staring back at me.
Suddenly, time makes its presence known as I examine the little spots it has touched my body. In my continued investigation of these new changes, the immediate shock dissipates and I grow attached to the new details of me. I do not lament Past Me nor do I loathe Present Me. Who I am is a culmination of all past versions of me, and who I am in the future depends on acceptance of who I’ve been and who I am. So I don’t mind a change in my Reflection, but rather I cherish its evolution.
In the monotony of my daily routine, it’s easy to forget that my body is continuously aging with every passing day. But, this doesn’t scare me as my body is mine, and I trust the changes it undergoes are an inevitable part of reality and necessary component of my own growth.
— Julia Choi —